Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Drill (?)

Starting Sunday, Israel is planning on having a gigantic drill in which everyone goes to their local bomb shelters when they hear the sirens. This is in preparation for any possible happenings with Iran.

But Hizbullah is preparing as well. They are lining up at the Lebanese /Israeli border. What's gonna be?


Meanwhile, Ahmadinajad, who escaped some assasins according to Aljazeera, it seems would "gladly supply" arms to Nasrulla.

Okay, where's my bomb shelter...


I have a concern. I worry that there are a lot of self empowerment blogs out there for BW, but none with an emphasis on a higher power (i.e. God). In fact in one such blog, I once mentioned charity and prayer, and the comment didn't get posted. I am not sure what to do. I am also concerned that BW are just gearing up to try and obtain money. Is that their heart of heart's goal? Won't that just be people competing for more money but no self improvement? Perhaps I misunderstood. Perhaps no one is truly interested in the Good Word. Okay, I must sit and learn.

Quotable Quote:

"Until then, in the West Bank we have a good reality . . . the people are living a normal life."

Mahmoud Abbas


And then there was the pirate ship who figured to get an Israeli ship...


Well, I was actually expecting to hear something from North Korea, but thankfully, all is quiet there.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Neshama News...

North Korea renounced its truce against South Korea and said it must prepare for a US led attack. Makes me wonder, can North Korea back this accusation up? What is a good source for world news?

Well we can fall back to the sages of old who said that a "nation from one end of the world" will fight "rome" (rome meaning USA and the western nations), but I can't be sure this is what they were talking about.

Israel and Jews the world over will be celebrating Shavuot. The story of Ruth will be read. (Ans cheese cakes eaten **smiles**)

I'll have to cut this short. Not enough time.


We are preparing for the holiday of Shavuot. (immediately after that is Shabbat, so I'll be off line for a couple of days).

What to do for this holiday? Its the time of celebrating the receiving of the Torah. What better way than to go to the Wailing Wall and pray and dance before God?!

And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod. (2nd Samuel/Shmuel 6:14)

That's what people do. Normally I don't go, ever since the family grew its been a bit harder to go out (praise God, I'm not complaining). Not sure if I'll go tonight...

King David danced with all his might -like those Na Nach guys lol! - and he died on Shavuot. The sun set, may a new sun arise!!!!

Enjoy, everyone. Enjoy everyone!

(Also yay to Gilles Marini for winning.)

Tonight is also the yahrtzeit /memorial of King David and the Baal Shem Tov (Master of the Good Name). We all know King David. The Baal Shem Tov was an orphan who lived in Europe long ago. He is known for not liking that the practice of Judaism became more and more something only the educated and rich could practice. He started a campaign to bring it down. To bring Torah knowledge, Judaism, etc to the common people of that time. If they couldn't read, so he encouraged to say prayers in their own tongue. If they couldn't do anything, at least use the emotions for service. He was the grandfather of Rebbi Nachman.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Divinely Inspired?

"Sheikh Raad Salah, leader of the Northern Wing of the Islamic Movement in Israel, believes Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu will try to rebuild the Jewish Temple."

(More on Arutz Sheva)

This is the second "prophesying" I've heard about the holy Temple. This particular one was meant to incite fear and hurtful actions. The first one was said that Obama was going to build it.

Is there something in the "air"?

(That last question was a joke because many believe no one will build it, it'll just come down from the sky. But seriously, much talk about the Temple....

Well IF it came to be, then all nations should take advantage of it. It is said that anyone who prays there is automatically answered. All that's left right now is an outer wall (the Wailing Wall) where many still come from all over the world to pray.

I wish I could capture the feel for that place at night. The eerie wind, the majestic height of that wall, and the amazing assortment of people there.

Anyway, there is nothing indicating that there are any plans (by this secular government)regarding the Temple, but nevermind that minor detail.

After Divestment : Week 7; Malkhut / Kingship

We are at the last week! And the last item is Malkhut /kingship. All the attributes previously mentioned come from what we observed and understood with the maturity of our minds. This trait is dealing with what we put out depending on what we take in.

So....of course it is represented by the mouth and the womb!

Malkhut personified is King David.

If we were to draw all the traits that we've spoken of (and some we didn't speak of) it would be listed like this:

Keter (crown)

Chochmah (wisdom)
Bina (understanding)
Daat (knowledge)

Chessed (lovingkindness)
Gevurah (restrain, strength)
Tiferet (beauty, compassion)

Netzchak (perseverence, dominance)
Hod (humility, splendor)
Yesod (foundation, sexual purity, creativity)

Malkhut (kingship)

Malkhut is clearly at the bottom. In every sphere or world that we deal with, malkhut is at the bottom. Things channel from the top downwards to Malkhut --malkhut itself has nothing of its own to actually give over. However, malkhut becomes keter. Yep, it can be seen as a line (in which case we would need to call malkhut and keter two different words, or we can see it as a circle in which malkhut and keter are one and it closes the circle). Rather than a circle, a better word for this would be a spiral because the "keter" means its been brought to a higher level. The game level went up. We're running with the big(ger) boys now! (sounds familiar?)

Just like King David started off lowly and hated (his family discriminated against him because they thought he was illegitimate), he worked on himself and worked and worked and prayed and prayed and came closer to God and arose to become the king of Israel.

So to just as malkhut represents youth, or beginning or lowly etc. It becomes keter -which means crown. Keter is the farthest end of the border. If we think of it in terms of our own selves, our own mind, keter is the boundary that our logical thinking can take us. After that, we rely on faith. Everything we can learn and know through logic and understanding (mathematics, science, etc) we ought to learn, but at a certain point, there are things that we can only rely on faith.

From keter, from the very edge of our knowledge, to get anything from beyond that requires that God just gives it to us. Our own mind can not be used because its reached its limit.

Looking at it from a different perspective, its the difference between wearing a crown and not wearing a crown.

A Beautiful BW owned a big beautiful mansion. She was extremely shy, however, and could not ask anyone to help her to maintain the place. Thus, every day she would be seen dusting and sweeping. Shining the windows, etc. A visitor in the town came across her mansion and observed the BW cleaning diligently. The visitor approached her and asked, "Pardon me, I see you are a diligent servant here! Can you direct me to the Mistress or the Master of this mansion?"

Had this women not been afraid to "wear her crown" She would put all her traits to better use. Her lovingkindness (towards herself) would keep her from straining herself to clean. Her gevurah would strengthen her to hire maids and stay on top of them. Tiferet would make that balance just. Hod /humility would guide her to remember that its all a gift from God, but her netzach /dominion/perseverance would push her to maintain things in proper order -not slacking and God forbid, breaking the border between her and the maids, for example. Her yesod would be used to find creative things for her home --and all this would cause the malkhut -her Queenliness to rise to the level of keter /crown.

With all the divestiture and empowerment going on in the black blogosphere, I sincerely hope that the goal is not to just be "on top". On top of what? If we are just substituting who's on top then things will not be any better for anybody. The same system of hurt will continue (I guess the good thing would be that BW wouldn't be hurt). It is my hope that when BW empower themselves, it will be with a godliness that I think power was originally intended to be with.

At times I feel chagrin to show these wonderful attributes and to say "look were it got him! He became a king!!!" The goal should not be just to be on top --however, to placate our lustful /evil desires (which everyone has) knowing that this goal could be among the benefits is a necessity.

I guess I'm saying don't forget to wake up the good inclinations within us. The inclination to godliness, to goodness, to love, etc.

Another word on Malkhut. It is personified in King David. King David used his mouth to produce the book of Psalms. Many later used these Psalms to elevate themselves, to meditate, etc. If only we know the true holiness in those words and what they could do! Prayer is an important tool. Nowadays, its being packaged as "speaking out to the universe" what you want and it becomes. But pray nonetheless. And even just to pray, a bit of boldness is needed. (1) to overcome the awkward feeling that you are talking to nothing(ness) and (2) to realize that a mere mortal, a creation -something created right after plants and beasts, something created and that is messing up so badly with physical desires can actually come before a Being so pure and good and that never "messes up" to make requests. Oy vey! But we must fortify ourselves and pray anyway.

In Summary, this concludes period between Passover and the upcoming Holiday of Shavuot. This was a period of self reflection and rectification so that we would have merited the past blessings and position ourselves to receive more blessings. Each attribute /character trait was examined and seen where a fix up was needed. Now we can move on as better, leaner meaner fighting machines (lol) and step up for more blessings!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Finally, Some Free Time!

I finally got some free time. The house is neat, the kids are asleep, hubby is gone working....

......and I forgot all the stuff that I wanted to blog about.


Mr. Blackfirewhitefire forgot his bag in a synagogue. It stayed there for about three weeks. Three weeks and never got stolen!

"....How beautiful are your tents, Jacob, and the dwelling places, Israel..." (Numbers 24:5)

(the gov't is a different story.)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Yay, Tebeka!

Tebeka, an Ethiopian Israeli organization initiated a push to get Ethiopian Jewish history taught in schools according to Channel 7 News (Arutz Sheva).

That is a great step because -bear in mind that I have not entered the school system yet- but I hear that the history teaching in the government schools are not so great. Hopefully this push will snowball into something greater.

(Is blogger acting up again?)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Rubik's Cube

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a race. I'm playing a game of rubik's cube but instead of colors on it there are faces. The Jews, BF, women, spirituality, love, and redemption. There is something about these three but I haven't got it. The parts that I do get, I don't know if I can convey it in "regular" language lol.

Then I feel this ticking Iranian bomb looming over me...

A mild rant.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

BW Rabbi in North California

Story from the Jerusalem Post.

How do I feel about Conservative Judaism? I'm not sure. Although I started out Orthodox and even Chareidi (ultra Orthodox) I, through the influence of my husband, various rabbis, Rebbe Nachman, etc, I see thing altogether different from before.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

After Divestment : Week 6:Yesod / Foundation

Week six! The second to last week of this series. The focus is on Yesod.Translation of yesod would be like foundation. Also sexual purity. Also creativity. What do all these things have in common?

Imagine the earth is a woman. Let's make it more interesting, say the earth is a BW (lol!) The sky is a guy. The guy gets "aroused" and rains. Rain and rain and rain. The earth produces and brings forth its plants and flowers, etc.

The earth (which is brown. or black or red) is the foundation is woman is producer or creator is Yesod.

Yesod personified is Joseph.

Just like it figure Jacob, the one who personifies tiferet/ beauty, knew exactly his mission, and could even take on another (Esau's)mission, and was so sure who was to be his girl (Rachel), he just met her at the well and gave her a kiss; So also it figures that Joseph, who personifies yesod, would be tested with sexual lust by Potiphar's wife(wrong yesod target! lol-- wrong mission, wrong malkhut) in Egypt (the place known as the womb).

Yesod and lovingkindness (chessed). There is a teaching that the world stands upon three things one of them being acts of kindness. Any foundation demands some free love, free giving in order for it to thrive. Since BW are on the agenda of divestment, I hope lovingkindness is an asset to be added in the investment part of the work.

I heard on another blog that in order to have a successful business, one needs to have it until it fails, then the next business one will know what to do. Okay, I admit I'm not a business major...but that sounds strange to me! lol. Yes, I agree one must give to any new creation (baby needs love and care; plants -water, sun, CO2; businesses - capital, strategy, goal; etc) but I don't know about running something to the ground if it can be avoided. Again, I don't know. (most likely I misunderstood what they were saying.)

Yesod and gevurah (holding back, strength). I suspect this can be tricky. Discipline is always needed when creating a foundation. Too much can be suffocating and repressing. It reminds me of how I can become if Mr. Blackfirewhitefire is away for very long and I need to keep the kids in line. There is no time to play and the kids need to heed my instructions the first time. I'm usually a bit harsher and stricter to reduce problems from the get go.

In the arts, it makes me think of drawings in which the object is created from the shadows. There is something somewhat deceptive about this but I can't put my hands on it.

(from Amazing Blog)

Yesod and tiferet (beauty and compassion). A healthy measure of leeway vs discipline in the creation of whatever foundation (Yourself, a baby, pruning a plant, whatever)

Yesod and Netzach. Building a permanent foundation. Like putting a stick in the pot of flower and tying the flower to it to insure that it grows straight.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Psalm 128:3

The building blocks have got to be solid when creating a foundation. Each piece should be examined truthfully. What speaks to you? I remember there was a blog in which a commenter sounded very patronizing. How can his message be admitted with that streak of menace in it? Anyone who absorbs his message (whole) will have to contend with low self esteem later! Same goes for any block used for foundation: accept only the good, throw the peel away!

Yesod and hod. Humility is knowing your weaknesses and your strength (and knowing that they come as gifts from On High). Not expanding a business to be bigger for the sake of greed -but if there is need. Not over decorating a home. Toning down on something or keeping stuff away for the sake of establishing a good start. (not giving kids candy all the time).

Yesod of yesod. As a dear reader mentions many times, its all one. If your capable it would be a beautiful exercise to take note at how your bonding with others is related to how you set up your foundation, and all that is related to how you begin your day, etc., etc., its working on the foundations of foundations. Are you grateful? Positive? energetic?

Yesod and Malkhut. This can almost be funny. Like the old cliche that some people are guided by their "other" brain in the pants. But nevertheless, there is a kingship in foundation, a king or a mission or an output from creativity / sexuality/ foundation. Its about staying true to your goal. Not falling for the "call" of Photiphar's wife.

You hear that Obama?! lol

Staying true to one's goal and (e)mission ("shooting" the rain into the right place; hitting the eight ball, as Dr. Welsings put it; etc) requires and brings just what Joseph required and got. It required that he retains the image of his father in his mind (Rashi for Genesis 39:11). Who was his father? Jacob -tiferet personified. If you recall tiferet is about beauty, truth, knowledge and compassion. Jacob was at ease with the female side of things and thus, his mission. Therefore he could know clearly who his wife was to be. So Joseph recalled the teachings of that. This helped him to stay strong and resist Potiphar's wife's advances. This may be why some say men ought to marry. To have their "mission" established and not have to chase the wrong "mission" (or be chased down by the wrong mission!). I guess this can be interpreted as getting married and knowing your goal and mission, your purpose.

What did this bring? It got Joseph the viceroy position. He rose higher than Potiphar and was next only after the Pharaoh himself.

So too, we can establish good foundations made of solid bricks. We can stay true to our goal for ourselves despite temptations and pulls left and right. Eventually, God willing, we will see that God's plan for us is something more beautiful than we had hoped!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Matchmaker, Matchmaker ....

I am trying to find a match for a young AA Jewish guy, who 32 learning at a yeshiva. I don't know his personality yet.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Din Meister

Are you a Din Meister?

Meister = Master. For example a master of all trades.

Din = judgement

A Din Meister (I invented that phrase) is someone whom judgement follows around. Someone always has something negative to say to or about the Din Meister. If there's no one, them s/he say it to himself. Examples of Din Meister behavior:

* Din Meister walks with her kids outside. As soon as Din Meister notices that someone has taken notice of her, or soon after someone greets her, she becomes very self conscious and critical of her kids -yelling at them for slouching, harshly straightening out their clothes, etc.

* Self flagellation

* When something not positive happens to Din Meister, she thinks "it figures" (i.e. "yes, that is the way its suppose to be, the way it's expected..")

* When things are going great, Din Meister waits for the turn of the tides. She thinks its inevitable and just.

* People tend to find things to criticize Din Meister about. Constantly.

* When Din Meister does something any ordinary person would do, its viewed as wrong, bad, evil, out of place, etc.

Well now, how to remove this din, this constant judgement, from DM's life?

Here are some ways I heard about:

A) Tell others of your pain that they may pray for you

B) Charity (monetary or physically helping people)

C) Crying out to God

D) Changing one's name (Abram to Abraham; Sarai to Sarah; Joshua to Yehoshua, etc)

E) Improving one's conduct

F) Rebuke a friend for/with the right motive (Assuming the friend actually needs rebuking)

G) Not succumbing to dispair or depression

H) Repentance

I) Not making the suffering public knowledge (just a close friend or two to pray for you)

J) Visiting a Tzaddik (a holy person)

K) Psalms

L) Humbling one's self

M) Fasting

N) Accepting embarrassment

O) reciting Song of Songs

P) Being merciful to others

I'll say something else. At times I have felt like a Din Meister. But I chase the din away with laughter or lightheartedness. If I see someone looking and I'm feeling self conscious, I joke with my kids and we both laugh. Or if I'm alone, I think a pleasant thought or say some good (or thrilling) news. That usually puts me in a better disposition. Usually the person talking to me critically or looking disapprovingly ends up smiling as well. Joy has an amazing healing and rectifying power that I don't think the western world has tapped into yet.

One interesting sign of of peace and calm is when there are not many businesses going on. Everyone is of one will. Businesses have to convince people that they are lacking. With so many businesses out there, all needing to have a good profit in order to stay in business and grow, they need to get a wide consumer base. Its an unfortunate need to convince folks that they are lacking something. However, I think if folks should be aware of this. Otherwise, they will always feel lacking and not know why; or walk around with a feeling of incompleteness. At any rate, less "stuff" makes for more breeze-y room which will hopefully lead to clarity and relaxedness and calm.

There is another way...

The holiness of dancing:

When someone hears wonderful news, they jump for joy! When they get good tidings, they do a dance and a skip! There is a holiness in dancing. Somehow people know about this subconsciously but I don't hear or read about it anywhere. Well, according to the Likutey Moharan (Lesson 41), dancing -moving the left leg and the right leg- towards good, for a holy reason, for good news, for good, holy thoughts, etc. this also dashes evil decrees in heaven, chases away din /judgement.

Dancing to lewd music, jumping and moving because someone got hurt, or some such reason is akin to the story of Nadav and Avihu. They wanted to bring a fire offering to God, but it was not done in the appropriate fashion. As a result, they were swallowed up by the fire.

In summary, at times din surrounds a person. Things go wrong, even the person himself or herself feels entitled to the wrongs occurring. But there are ways to chase that air away. Mainly reconnecting to God, charity, reading Psalms (out loud), and dancing. Basically, anything that takes you out of your usual way, or helps you to rise above your "horoscope."

Monday, May 11, 2009

In, Inner, More Inner, (Inner most)

Today (tonight) is the celebration of the life of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai (Shimon son of Yochai). He is celebrated for gaining great knowledge and not keeping it to himself, but teaching it as well. He is said to have authored the famous Holy Zohar.

Its celebrated lighting everything and anything. A big bonfire. The first time I came to Israel I was afraid of this day. Little children left to create such huge fires! Now, I can't believe I actually go around enjoying them too.

Here are some pictures of the event:

The reason anything can be lit is because that synbolize that Rb.Shimon's teachings reached an all time "low" or inner part- i.e, anybody can have access to it, the highest brain to the smallest guy on the street.

Some things waiting their turn to catch fire:

After Divestment : Week 5; Hod /Splendor

This week the focus is on hod. Hod means splendor, bringing a magnificence to things by minimizing one's self, refraining also.

hod personified is Aaron. He refrained when the mixed multitude encouraged others and built the golden calf. (I suspect if he didn't refrain, if he tried to protest, he'd of gotten shot!). He also chose his words carefully when relaying messages to people -to keep the peace.

Hod is also represented by the left leg (to be close to the left arm which represents gevurah)

India Arie...

Michael Jordan...

These names come to mind when I think of Hod (mostly because I don't know them personally). If MJ was arrogant then nevermind. Hod is about being at ease with your talents without letting it go to your head. People who take something ordinary and jazz it up that it almost becomes something new.

There was once a spiritual leader who entered his place of worship, dropped down on his knees and cried out in a loud voice, "I am nothing! I am nothing!"

The President of the board, who happened to also be a doctor and a lawyer, also entered the place. He proceeded to follow suit and dropped down crying in a loud voice, "I am nothing! Nothing!"

The janitor, who was doing his rounds came upon the two crying out. In a gush of self pity and humility also dropped down and cried, "I am nothing! I am nothing!!"

The other two stopped and looked at the janitor with disgust, "who does he think he is?!"

Some can fake humility, By Hod I mean true humility. But not the absence of self esteem.

That also reminds me of my aunt. Once, while cooking one of her famous mushroom rice, she says to my mom, " well you know...we are black so I just had to add some spices!"

Back then I laughed.

Hod with lovingkindness - Giving measured help. Knowing when the "grave digger" line has been crossed, and stopping. Its like backing away and letting a child try to walk by himself. The child will cry and protest, but slowly slowly he takes a step... then another.. and so on.

Hod with geurah
- Giving your best at a work (not just job, I mean)--but being able to get one's due compensation. I think Evia's got that one covered: reciprocity.

Hod with tiferet - Balanced humility. At times letting go of one's due reciprocity may be called for. Other times one may need more than one's fair share.

Hod with netzach - Being consistant. This may require a mantra because ( and maybe its just me) but its hard to stay humble all the time. A mantra, studying books of character traits, affirmations, etc.

Hod with hod - The position people want BW to be in. Invisible! lol! Never the less even this has its value and use. Usually when a great thing is about to happen (a miracle, a mazal tov, good news) its helpful to make one's self small and unassuming. No unwanted attention to draw jealousy, saboteurs, and what nots. Don't misunderstand, even God does Hod of hod as He makes Himself seemingly not around so that we can all behave like we REALLY want to. Hut that (and all the other traits) are godly traits and are useful for different circumstances.

Hod with yesod - Creation of good foundation in relationships. Using humility and truth and restrain in a balanced measure.

Hod with Malkhut - Letting your "subjects" i.e. your children, any one under your influence, within you circle to be themselves. None of that "why you gotta act a fool?" Just accepting people (within REASON!)-that is your kingdom. Its also useful to learn who is good at what? Who enjoys what? You can't really learn and know anyone unless you allow them to be them selves. But afterwards, you can know who to call for which task because you truly know their character, quirks, and tendencies.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Step Out

On Friday, before Sabbath (Shabbat) I took a quick trip to town to buy some new shoes. My but there was an increased amount of Asian Jews that I saw. That was a pleasant surprise.

I wonder if they speak English???

This reminds me of when I was a kid, I would eagerly await these J Witnesses to come to my house to give their magazines and books. I enjoyed looking at the pictures of such multiculturalism, so much diversity. Little did I know that they were just as eager to see me!

(As a matter of fact,it was only after I grew up a bit more that I realized how pushy one of them was. How my mom had to do all she could to ward them off.)

I only wanted those pictures, not the message. Anyway, they eventually got the message and stopped coming. But wouldn't it be nice if all religions had a healthy diversity -not just because they want to have diversity, but just because those who feel called to one particular way goes that way and those who feel pulled to a different way goes that other way. No pressure, no threat, no proselytizing.

The Subject Has Been broached

I have begun the difficult topic of the history of Haiti. I figured it was going to be more difficult than it actually was. Certainly I had to leave off some parts: the goriness of the whole slave trade, the tortures the Black Africans from Haiti went through (like being buried alive up to their heads in the dirt and having sugar poured onto their heads to attract bugs and what have you)...

There were even some other (more major) parts I had to leave out for now such as the ceremony for freedom in which the slaves all drank pig's blood as a sign of their fearlessness. I could hear it now "but Mama, pigs are not kosher!"

Any way for now I just told them a generalized story and will revisit the topic when they are a bit older.

How to Not Write About Africa...

Hat tip = What Tami Said)

Pop Up Blockers/ Haitian Music

I wish someone would invent a pop up blocker against forced music that come on when I go to a site or blog.


Anyway.....****listening to Haitian music.....********************

I'm so excited to say, I found my all time favorite Haitian song. Even my kids know the refrain of this one because I sing it so much "Ke'm pa Sote wooooo!" (Even Hubby tries from time to time, sweet guy)

(women singing)

In the refrain the people are singing that they need to dance properly and "balance" because "Boukman" (the musical group) is in the carnaval. A fiddler on the roof hatian style? LOL

Oh Barak(Obama) just came into the "playground" woy, here's Koudjay...

And of course, Sweet Micky

I'm having too much fun while the house is sleeping. lol

Friday, May 8, 2009

Woohoo! Just What I've been Looking for

How to tie headscarves (especially the styles that require two scarves)

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm Actually Tired of Blogging.../ After Divestment Week 4

I have a bunch of unfinished work to complete, the After divestment series, others, pics I meant to put up, etc.

But lately, possibly from the terrible cold the family, including myself, is going through, I have been very uninterested in blogging about anything. Also, Ive been spending my blogging time reading either Muslin Bushido's blog and then running over to Black Woman Blow The Trumpet blog, then back again. Pretty interesting stuff going on! I just hope each understands the others POV.

But that leaves me too sleepy to blog on my own blog. I feel tempted to post a comment at Bushido, but I think this is the time to exercise restraint. The topic is specifically for and about AA BW. I even wonder if that is a first!


After Divestment week 4: Netzakh

Netzakh means dominance, perseverance, longevity, etc. I don't have a one word translation which is why I am using the Hebrew word.

The one who personifies netzakh is Moses. Everything he did, he tried to make sure it was a permanent fix. After he led the Jewish people out of slavery in Egypt, he came down with the Torah and yearned and tried to make sure the Jewish people made it to the promise land. Unfortunately he died before doing that last action. For that, the land being permanently in Jewish hands was not a permanent thing; many times they were captured and taken away. Returned and captured again, etc. But everything before that was done with a dose of netzakh, including the yearning for the land.

That is also why Moses' seemingly small errors (such as hitting the stone extract water)where so grave.

Netzakh with Chessed (giving, unconditional lovingkindness). "For anything to endure it needs to be loved" (from Aish website). Interestingly, many AAs are back tracking and reflecting. They are looking for their good points and that is very crucial.If there is no vested interest in something or someone, the actions that we do towards it or for it will not be for permanence; it'll be of a way to "get rid" of someone or something.

Netzakh with gevurah (strength, restraint). Being diciplined in our determination is an essential key to endurance. I remember long ago, I used feed on my anger to get fuel to get things done. "Nevermind nobody's helping me, I'll do it on my own!" "No! now that you feel bad for me, now I for sure don't want your help!!" Oh brother! Do I regret those. Well, at the time I only knew how to draw strength (and adrenaline) from negtivity (anger). There is strength to be drawn from joy. from fulfillment of one's good desires as opposed to from one's negativity.

In brief, check one's self to see where is our energy coming from, that will let us see in the long run where it will take us.

Netzakh with tiferet (beauty). Once the perfect combo of giving and holding back is established, this ought to be consistently pushed and upheld.

Netzakh with netzakh. I tend to think of this as dominance overload. Or obnoxious pushing. But even that has its uses. Especially when confronting a powerful enemy. For instance, I see many abused people using this when they realize that no one will believe them that there is a problem with the (abusive ) husband, or father, or whatever. At a certain point, the abused person has to just shut their mind, hold onto their beliefs and ram through.

Netzakh with hod (spendor, empathy). This is a tough one because the two seem like opposites. Can one have dominance without stepping on anyone's toes? Hmmmmm......

Netzakh with yesod (foundation, creativity, sexual purity). In creativity, its important that time does not constrain the art. Its like a movie that makes reference to a current event --in a few years that phrase they inserted in the movie will have no relevance.

Netzakh with malkhut (kingship). Here is where we take from the world and give back.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Book and Kamea Give Away

I have a bunch of favorite rabbis. The one that I follow the most is the teachings of Rabbi Nachman from Breslev.

Rabbi Nachman wrote a series of stories which are metaphors for life, spirituality, dealing with the world, with sin, etc. So I have a bunch and anyone interested just send me an email where to send it. Yes, its free!


Straight Talk

There's some serious stuff going on at Muslim Boshido blog. Well worth any abled AA BW to read and comment honestly.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Thank you, Whoever you are...

I wanted to give a thank to that white bearded, religious Jewish man who came out of nowhere and help me herd my kids into the taxi yesterday.

I told my kids to wait as I tried to flag down a cab. The light turned red and I saw a cab in the left turning lane. Yes, I know crazy. Well I navigated through the cars waiting at the red light and ask the cabbie if he was available. He was. I called my kids to come but just stumbled one on top of the other one. One was too scared to move, the other can never stay focused for anything (lol)and so meanders rather than walk, another was held back by the first two.

I pleaded with them and debated whether I should go and get them myself. Then out of nowhere came this chossid.

A picture of a chossid:

He just herded all the kids to the cab. I couldn't help but smile at his grandfatherlyness. It was just too cute. But before I could thank him he was off! Gone! ***pout***.

Thank you.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Musing on Negative Emotions, Lights, Vessels, Ego

The following is NOT completely thought out yet.

I was upset the other day. I could not pinpoint what exactly it was that was upsetting me. At first I figured that it was coming from my lack of food, the lack of chicken pot pie specifically, then I figured it was coming from some unresolved issues with Mr. Blackfirewhitefire (How come I get stuck with most of the kids when we're on a bus?), then I stopped.

I started to wonder whether I'm just plain upset and am looking for a reason to validate my upset-ness? Some excuse as to point to and say, 'THIS is why I'm upset!'

This reminded me of two concepts. (1) In physics, we learn that matter is simply a more coarser form of light. I'm sure its more complicated then that but for brevity let's leave it at that. Light is a form of energy, energy can be made into matter (E=mc2).

(2) In Kabbalah, we learn that vessels that contain light are themselves a coarser form of light. Kind of like if the act of studying is a light, then actually doing what we've just studied is like a vessel -a coarser light (matter) of the same "studying" light.

So that got me wondering, could my irritability be a form of light and the actual thing I'm upset about be merely a "vessel" (a matter)or a coarser form of the irritability? In other words, could I really be upset about really nothing, but since that's too incredible or unacceptable (it has to be channeled into something), I search mentally for something to latch my upset-ness onto? After all, when we see someone upset we ask "what's the MATTER?" (that last sentence was a joke)

For example. Say I'm in a good mood. There's a fly in the room. Okay, fine. It doesn't bother me. Then somehow this trigger happens in which my body sends out some irritability hormones or a spirit comes around whipping up sadness in me or (pick a field of study) however or whatever angle we want to go at it, the bad mood comes. Then! Only then does the fly becomes a bother.

But if that theory is correct then if 10 flies came into the room...What? I wouldn't be bothered? Of course I would! So that doesn't make much sense.


The goal of it all is not to become complacent in our needs. This downer spirit, saddening hormone, constricted mentality, whatever its called in whatever field of study (WEICIWEFOS) we choose to invoke, is meant to be there. To direct us to zoom in and destroy a bad situation in our sphere. (Like a particle meeting an anti-particle. They annihilate each other when they meet-- and produce photons: light!).

As if the fly, the problem, the anti-particle (the PARTIcuLar problem) triggers us to release particle "stuff" to annihilate the problem. This in turn brings us photons. Light.

(At times light can act as a particles and other times as waves)

This reminds me of when the Jewish people, fresh out of Egyptian slavery, were heading for Israel. They sent spies who came back with a bad report. they came with a bad report because they did not want to enter into the land; they wanted to go back to their old familiar Egypt or perhaps stay in the desert. They forgot how harsh and terrible slavery was. And so they wept! They wept over nothing (anti-particle alert!)

God became "angry" with them for crying such tears (for creating such particles) for nothing (no anti-particles to annul) and told them that now they would truly have something to cry about. Ever since then we've had to deal with the destruction of the first and second temple, the holocaust, and other events all happening around the same time that this false weeping occurred. Those horrible events are the anti-particles sent to annul the particles that was created from our false weeping and refusal to enter the land.

That, is like God sending the "anti-particle" or the downer spirit, or the hormone or whatever, etc., to annihilate this particle of bad report on the land. the eventual end result is that in the end of times that very day will bring forth great light! Photons!

I took this thought to a biochemist who also knows physics just to get his take.

He said my theory was.....


Not only that but then he wowed me with things he was working on at the moment. He also pushed this theory further and said that repentance is also a greater particle to match greater anti-particles. Basically it can spiritually nullify a sin. He also reversed it and said the good, the miracles, the repentance are particles and the wrong that occurred are anti-particles. I felt like running away with my tail between my legs! Okay, I've got to improve on my physics and math and step up to the plate.

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Shattered Vessels

Long ago, I remember talking to a BW friend of mine. We were discussing BW but she could not and would not accept that they have a wonderful role to play in life and in God's plan. Nothing doing.

Another time, I realized the distortion and the promotion of negative news that the media liked to do in regards not only to Haiti in particular, but to all black African countries in general.

"disaster pornography" someone coined that phrase.

I could go on. But it seems the reason a positive slant on anything black can not be accepted is because somehow the vessels in the mind to hold this type of info have been shattered.

Even conspiracy theorists sound absurd (to me). Though I do believe that its that evil side of Esau (ESE) that's behind most horrendous crimes to humanity --and that could be viewed as a conspiracy theory too I guess-- I have a hard time hearing others' theory on the matter.


Its like trying to teach something abstract to a toddler. Most toddlers simply don't have the capacity to process that sort of information. That is not quite a proper analogy because I think we as adults did (?) at one time have the capacity to hear all sorts of information and process them -without our eyes glazing over. In other words, adult have or had this capacity to process and weigh complex information, but there are elements who wish to snuff out that process in people.

I remember when I was a child and I did something wrong, my parents would be so upset with me. I really thought they hated me. When I got older I understood that (mature) people can be angry about something without hating the subject completely and utterly with no redemption possible.

I remember when I was a child I thought good was good and bad was bad. I didn't understand that there could be a mixture. That a person could be 80% good and 20% bad for example. That people can have a bad side, but still be mostly good.

I remember when I was a child I did not realize that a show of kindness could be some one not helping. A show of strength could be not responding heatedly to something.

When we are young, we have very simple vessels. A mental bin for "good" and a mental bin for "bad" and a mental bin for "strength", "beauty", etc. And some bins are not even developed yet.

At a certain point in our adolescence these bins "shatter". What we thought was, wasn't completely; what we thought was for sure, becomes dependent on other factors. Now we need to reshape our vessels, our mental bins so that we can hold more mature and realistic thoughts.

Most adults have done this or are in the process. But there is one last bin that is the hardest to repair. But before we get into that let's examine how these bins work.

Each bin feeds the other one. We take our wisdom, understanding and the resulting knowledge and use it to fill our mental bins with what we believe x is. What we put in our bins, decides how we act. Now at a certain point we understand things differently and need to use new vessels, our new capacity of understanding, to dictate how we act.

All the previous bins are from our understanding of the wisdoms of the world. Basically all our mental bins are fed by our knowledge, what we know. The last, and most difficult bin to refabricate from the "shattering" is called +the vessel of "kingship", the vessels that holds our mission in this world, the vessel that explains to us our value, our worth and our goodness. And that is because somewhere along the line we are still receiving a false wisdom from somewhere.

What is that false message? How can we get rid of it? And whats the true message?

The vessel of kingship is known as a feminine vessel whereas all the others are known as masculine ones. It is the part that processes info (impregnation) and based on that info decides what we put out (birth)to the world. (the other vessels only receives information based on our knowledge.) Because it is "feminine", it deals with thing "femininely." The inner intelligence of things (what's the reason behind x? What the beauty of y? How does z make me feel?) is what it seeks. The problem is that feminine-ness is not well received! The false message is that there is no good value in feminine things. Femininity has gotten reduced to hormones, submission, and hysteria.

Pick up the Bible and read it. We get the masculine side of things. How many men begat how many sons. What a man did. But if and when we begin to open up see with acceptance the "inner" messages of the book, the female side of the stories, then we begin to truly understand things, everything in its true fullness.

Things associated with femininity: beauty, inner reasonings and teachings, rulership, emotion, spirit, the heart, the moon, women.

How do we get rid of that false message? If we are willing to go into that realm of thinking, it would mean calling into question what people just assume to be true. This process would probably be marked by alot of realizations that things don't add up, and asking very basic questions that most people gloss over, like how can a loving God do such and such what would be the real reason for x, considering God is a Loving God, can a person be completely bad with no redeeming value? Can a whole group? What the inner beauty in such and such? What the wisdom found in thus? Things that people tend to take for granted and not really think about deeply. Only then can we complete all the vessels that have been shattered and finally once and for all repair the "kingship" vessel.

With this "kingship" vessel, the mental bin that allows us to feel empowered, to be kingly (queenly? lol) towards the world's creation, and with a role to play and mission to fulfill on this earth; with this ability to see the inner beauty in all of God's creation, then we can finally, but finally appreciate all his creation. The is the true message. That everything that God created has beauty and a function in this world. Including me, BW, and you!

Dr. Mercola, The Swine Flu and Vaccine

I am NO EXPERT. Having said that, This seemed like an interesting take on the swine flu...


WHO and CDC Pandemic Preparedness Seriously Broken

The pandemic warning system has failed as it simply doesn't exist, even in North America and Europe. To improve the system, massive new investments in surveillance, scientific and regulatory infrastructure, basic public health, and global access to common sense interventions like vitamin D optimization are required.

According to the Washington Post, the CDC did not learn about the outbreak until six days after Mexico had begun to impose emergency measures. There should be no excuses. The paradox of this swine flu panic is that, while totally unexpected, it was accurately predicted. Six years ago, Science dedicated a major story to evidence that "after years of stability, the North American swine flu virus has jumped onto an evolutionary fasttrack".

However, maybe this is precisely what public health authorities desire.

This is NOT the First Swine Flu Panic

My guess is that you can expect to see a lot of panic over this issue in the near future. But the key is to remain calm -- this isn't the first time the public has been warned about swine flu. The last time was in 1976, right before I entered medical school and I remember it very clearly. It resulted in the massive swine flu vaccine campaign.

Do you happen to recall the result of this massive campaign?
(more at Dr. Mercola's site)

more excerpts:

Where did This Mysterious New Animal-Human Flu Strain Come From?

Alongside the fear-mongering headlines, I've also seen increasing numbers of reports questioning the true nature of this virus. And rightfully so.

Could a mixed animal-human mutant like this occur naturally? And if not, who made it, and how was it released?

Not one to dabble too deep in conspiracy theories, I don't have to strain very hard to find actual facts to support the notion that this may not be a natural mutation, and that those who stand to gain have the wherewithal to pull off such a stunt. ...
same site.

Once again, I don't know what to believe, but this was an interesting read.

And now in Maryland, children were forced to have vaccinations? Forced as in with police and dogs??!! Maryland wassup?! (this is unrelated to swine flu, etc. as far as I know)

(hat tip to Dreaming of Moshiach blog)

The Latest Israeli Greeting

The latest Israeli greeting I've heard (and found interesting)

person a: "hey how are you?"

person b: "Everything's Paradise!" (Did I translate that right? "hakol Gan Eden" or everything's the garden of Eden!)